New Floor Policy

EFFECTIVE FROM Dec. 01, 2009

NEW FLOOR POLICY

Dress Code:
1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.

2) If we see you wearing Red Tape shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we
will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a
raise.

3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better,
so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a
raise.

4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and
therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If
you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.
They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead
friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have
non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare
cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be
scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet.
There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end
of three minutes, a n alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will
retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After
your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin
board under the 'Chronic Offenders'
category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under
the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break:

* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so
that they can look healthy.

* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
maintain their average figure.

* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
needed to drink a Slim-Fast.