Oldest thingS on EARTH...

World’s Oldest Yoga Instructor (83-year-old)
Yoga instructor Bette Calman may be 83, but she’s still bending over backwards to spread the benefits of the ancient Indian discipline. The nimble grandmother can really pull some shapes and with her set hair and pearl earrings she looks as glamorous as Greta Garbo in a pink jumpsuit. With 40 years of teaching under her belt, the Australian wonder is living proof that a lifetime’s dedication to yoga will keep you flexible as a rubber band.

World’s Oldest Mother (70-year-old)
Meet Rajo Devi Lohan, the Indian woman who, in November 2008, gave birth to her first child – at the age of 70. She said she had waited for more than 40 years for this child and that she plans to breastfeed her for at least three years. And, who knows, maybe she will.

World’s Oldest Conjoined Twins (57-year-old)
When Maureen Galyon gave birth in 1951, she had no idea she was expecting two babies – let alone conjoined twins. The tots, joined at the torso, were not expected to survive the night as baffled doctors tried to work out if they could be separated. Now, at 57, Ronnie and Donnie are the world’s oldest conjoined twins and have amazed the medic world by hanging onto life for so long. And, as their health declines and they near their dying days, the pair have opened their doors to a documentary team to reveal the secrets of their extraordinary life together. Although every day is a struggle as the men have to coordinate the simplest of tasks, they have a close, loving relationship and are able to live together in their own home in Dayton, Ohio

World’s Oldest Father (90-year-old)
The world’s oldest father has done it again recently, fathering a child for at least the 21st time, at the age of 90. Indian farmer Nanu Ram Jogi, who is married to his fourth wife, boasts he does not want to stop, and plans to continue producing children until he is 100. Mr Jogi admits he is not certain how many children his series of four wives have borne him – but counts at least 12 sons and nine daughters and 20 grandchildren

World’s Oldest Cat (29-year-old)
Until he passed away at the ripe old age of 31 in July 2001, the world’s oldest catwas chasing spiders without the equivalent of a feline walking cane. Spike, a British ginger and white tom, had been certified as the world’s oldest living cat by the Guinness Book of Records in 1999, when the sprightly kitty was just 29.

Measured in human years, Spike was an amazing 140 years old, though many veterinarians dispute the validity of such human/cat comparisons. (Perhaps it’s just jealousy; Spike retained all his original teeth and hair!) Either way, Spike beat the odds – domestic longhairs have a life span of about 15 years. His owner, Mo Elkington, an aromatherapist from Dorset, England, purchased Spike in 1970. She fed him a steady diet of fish and cat food, with a little aloe vera mixed in to protect him against arthritis and rheumatism.

World’s Oldest Model (80-year-old)
In an age obsessed with youth and beauty, Daphne Selfe is a welcome reminder that the two are not inextricably linked. The grandmother is in the 60th year of an extraordinary modelling career thanks to her graceful posture, striking cheekbones and her long, lustrous – and unashamedly grey – hair. At the age of 80, she is Britain’s oldest catwalk model, gracing runways for Dolce & Gabbana, Tata-Naka and Michiko Koshino

World’s Oldest Bottle of Champagne (184-year-old)
One tasted white truffles, another gingerbread. But the esteemed wine critics that gathered to taste the world’s oldest Champagne were at least agreed on one thing: that they were enjoying the opportunity of a lifetime. 12 of the wine industry’s top tasters had been given the rare chance to give their verdict on the world’s oldest bottle of Champagne. Only two bottles now remain of the Perrier-Jouet 1825 Vintage, recognised by The Guinness Book of Records as the oldest remaining Champagne in the world.

World’s Oldest Brand (124-year-old)
Lyle’s Golden Syrup has been named as Britain’s oldest brand, with its green and gold packaging having remained almost unchanged since 1885. The Guinness Book of Records gave the breakfast and teatime sweetener, whose tins bear the image of a lion and a biblical quotation, the prized honour.

World’s Oldest Sculpture (35,000-year-old)
Scientists have discovered the oldest piece of sculpture ever created – and it depicts a voluptuous ‘pin-up’ woman. The 35,000-year-old carving shows a woman with enormous breasts and other sexual characteristics like an enlarged stomach and large thighs. The six-centimetre carved mammoth tusk, which is thought to have been a symbol of fertility for early man, is known as ‘Venus’ and was discovered in several fragments which were then pieced together. Radiocarbon dating showed that the figurine, which was found in a German cave, is at least 35,000 years old, predating later similar finds by 5,000 years or more. The fragments were recovered along with stone, bone and ivory tools used by the first Home Sapien populations to settle in Europe.

World’s Oldest Working Microwave (40-year-old)
They are part and parcel of most kitchens now. But in the Swinging Sixties, microwave ovens were cutting-edge technology. Frederick Stephens was among the first in Britain to buy one and 150,000 meals later, it is still going strong. The 78-year-old believes it is the country’s oldest still in everyday use. He paid $300 – equivalent to more than $3,900 in today’s money – for the brown Panasonic NE-691 and has used it every day in the four decades since

World’s Oldest Flute (35,000-year-old)
discovered, according to archaeologists, offering the latest evidence that early modern humans in Europe had established a complex and creative culture. A team led by University of Tuebingen archaeologist Nicholas Conard assembled the flute from 12 pieces of griffon vulture bone scattered in a small plot of the Hohle Fels cave in southern Germany. Together, the pieces comprise a 8.6-inch instrument with five holes and a notched end. Conard said the flute was 35,000 years old